


The "I Love Yous" of Yesterday

by WhiteravenGreywolf



Series: If I stay [41]
Category: Captain Marvel (2019)
Genre: Carol is a sentimental sap but it's a secret, F/F, Fluff, More tapes, a WHOLE lot of fluff, more memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 15:23:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18594028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteravenGreywolf/pseuds/WhiteravenGreywolf
Summary: Carol found more tapes for her and Maria to watch, hidden in that cardboard box full of the memories too painful for Maria to keep. But it's been over 20 years, they should be fine to watch now, right?





	The "I Love Yous" of Yesterday

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Who's ready for more tapes! We have a saying in French, it's "Never two without three", so I had to write a third story where they just sit down and watch tapes!  
> I hope you enjoy this story cause it's your last taste of sweetness before tomorrow's story, which I actually wrote yesterday so I would be ready to post it as soon as I woke up. And it's going to be sad? Frustrating? You'll see...

Carol resettled in the couch, leaning against Maria who wrapped her arm around her wife's shoulders. Maria finished her glass of wine and placed it on the small table beside the couch.

  
"So, what are we watching?"

  
"Well, I have a special, double program for us tonight."

  
Maria hummed with intrigue.

  
"Do tell."

  
"Well, when I was searching through the attic to find the tapes for our wedding, I found the box with all the pictures, the one Monica was supposed to find, right? And under all the pictures, I found two tapes. But, the labels have been ripped out. I haven't seen them yet, so I thought we could watch them together."

  
Maria nodded.

  
"Are you trying to make me believe that you really haven't seen them yet? You basically know all of our family tapes by heart now."

  
"I didn't! I promise!"

  
Maria smiled and placed a kiss on Carol's cheek, who deflated quickly.

  
"Fine, put on the first tape."

  
Carol grinned and pushed herself off the couch. She picked up the first of the tapes which had been waiting beside the VCR and put it on. Then, she hurried back into Maria's arms, her legs folded under her.

  
When the video came to life, it was showing the concrete ground inside the PEGASUS hangar, and tiny little feet wearing white and pink sneakers.

  
"You have to press the red button," they heard Carol say. "Did you press the red button?"

  
"I did!" Monica's adorable little voice replied.

  
"Okay, now point the camera where you want to film."

  
The image moved suddenly, to film what must have been straight ahead of Monica, a hangar full of planes.

  
"Got it?" Carol asked.

  
Monica looked up at her, then nodded, making the camera jerk some more.

  
"Got it!"

  
"Just go slow, don't move too fast," Carol advised.

  
Monica started looking ahead of herself again until the camera stopped on tiny figures in the distance.

  
"I think I see mom!" Monica shouted, making the sound of the camera saturate a bit.

  
"Over there? Yeah, I think that's her. Why don't you zoom in a bit? Look on the side of the lens, there's a wheel. Do you see it?"

  
The camera shook around again as Monica tried to find the wheel.

  
"It is this one?"

  
"Yes. Now look where you want to film again, and turn it slowly."

  
Monica pointed the camera toward her mother once again and turned the wheel. The camera zoomed in quickly, making everything blurry and difficult to watch.

  
"And if you want to go back, you turn it the other way."

  
Monica tried it, and the camera zoomed out just as hurriedly as before. Then Monica started playing with the zoom.

  
"Oh my god..." Maria let out as she laughed, leaning on Carol's shoulder for support, "I think that explains why we never let Monica use the camera."

  
Carol giggled as she tried to calm her breathing.

  
"I absolutely need to digitalize it and add it to my video montage!"

  
"What video montage?"

  
"Oh, I didn't tell you? I'm preparing a video of Monica's cutest and most embarrassing moments to show at her wedding."

  
Maria shook her head in disbelief.

  
"At this rate, you'll never get to show it."

  
"Well, if she's a late bloomer like her mothers, I have all the time in the world to make it perfect."

  
They reclined back into the couch and looked at the TV once again. The image had changed. It was no longer the hangar. Monica was now in someone's office, recording her conversation with someone.

  
"Here, try to prop it with this."

  
Both Carol and Maria had not heard that voice in a very long time, and both of their hearts clenched when they heard it. Monica picked up the camera and placed it on top of a pile of books so that it was finally on the right level with Doctor Lawson's face.

  
"Better?" the doctor asked.

  
"Yes, thank you."

  
"It can't be easy, carrying that big camera around all day."

  
"Auntie Carol told me to film everything I think is interesting."

  
"And you think what I do is interesting?" Lawson asked with a smile.

  
"Yeah, cause you make the plane that mom and Auntie Carol fly, so it's important!"

  
Lawson chuckled.

  
"What about you, Monica? What do you want to do when you're older?"

  
"I want to be a pilot!"

  
"Are you sure? It's not easy to become a pilot."

  
"But I'm strong!" Monica replied. "I can do it!"

  
Lawson chuckled and replied:

  
"Oh, I'm sure that if someone can do it, it's you."

  
They heard a meow behind them and the desk trembled a bit as Monica had probably jumped out of her chair.

  
"Goose!"

  
There was another meow and more giggles from Monica. Lawson stood up and disappeared from the frame.

  
"Can I film you with the camera, Monica?"

  
"Sure."

  
The camera was picked up and turned toward the other side of the office. Among piles of books and cardboard boxes, Monica was seating on the ground, Goose nestled in the middle of her crossed legs. The flerken seemed very comfortable, as Monica petted her head delicately.

  
"You know, Goose doesn't take to people often. But she seems to really like both you and Carol a lot."

  
Monica continued to giggle as she scratch under Goose's chin. The video stopped shortly after.

* * *

  
  
Carol brushed the tears out of her eyes before she looked over at Maria who sighed sadly.

  
"That's the only recording of the doc we ever had," Maria said.

  
Carol thought longly before she asked:

  
"You think she would have been proud of us? Of what we did?"

  
"I'm sure she would have been happy to know how you honored her name."

  
They hugged for a moment, with only the sound of the VCR rewinding the tape around them. When it was finally back to the beginning Carol ejected the tape.

  
"Ready for the other one?"

  
Maria nodded hesitantly.

  
"If it's anything like this one I'm going to be crying by the end of it."

  
Carol pushed herself out of the couch, then changed the tapes before settling back against her wife.

  
At first, there was only a wall. A white wall with pictures of Carol, Maria, and Monica hanging on one side of the frame, and a coat-hanger on the wall on the other side. There were Carol's old leather jacket and a military-issued sweater on it. After a few seconds, Carol walked into frame.

  
Back on the couch, both Carol and Maria watched the video with interest. Carol could not remember when or why this video had been taken. Maria seemed to remember, however, though she didn't say anything.

  
"Hey, Maria," the Carol in the video started, "I wanted to send you this tape with my next letter but then I remembered your parents don't have a VCR, so you're not going to be able to read it anyway. So maybe I'll just record it and give it to you later. I don't know. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I miss you and Monica. I mean, it's ridiculous, I know. You've been gone for barely two weeks but it feels like an eternity. I miss you so much. Thinks are boring without you around here. It's... it's not the same."

  
Carol took a deep breath as if trying to gather her words.

  
"I miss how you complain that I wake you up too early. I miss how you put too much sugar in your coffee in the morning, and then pretend that you don't want to let me take a sip. I miss how we can understand each other without even talking at work, and it freaks all the other boys out."

  
Carol chuckled.

  
"I miss seeing you hug Monica every evening after work. I miss Monica's hugs too, and all the drawings she spreads around the house. I miss how you pretend to hate me when I burn food even though I can see you smile afterward. I miss your hugs too, when we're on the couch after Monica is in bed. You hold me like you don't want to ever let me go and I love it. I hope you know that when I hug you too I don't want to ever let you go either."

  
Carol paused again. She brushed a quick tear out of her eye.

  
"I miss your kisses and I miss you laugh and I miss that look in your eye that you have when I say 'I love you'."

  
She pursed her lips.

  
"Hm... I love you, Maria, I do. You're the love of my life and I want to always be there by your side. Even if it's hard to believe sometimes, I know that my love for you is real, it's the most real thing that has ever happened to me."

  
She cleared her throat, trying to push her tears away.

  
"Yeah, so... This was just to tell you that I miss you and I love you, and I can't wait for you to come home."

  
Carol offered one last crooked smile, barely holding back her own tears before she quickly stood up and turned off the camera.

* * *

  
  
Both Maria and Carol were extremely silent on the couch. Carol had been hit by the memory halfway through the video like a train had knocked her over. She'd made that video for Maria when she had taken a month to go see her parents with Monica in the middle of summer. Carol hadn't been able to get her leave at the same time, and so she'd been stuck in California.

  
"I found that tape in your office," Maria started.

  
Carol looked at her wife. She was crying, her voice strangled by so many emotions. Carol moved closer to hug her.

  
"After the accident, I found the tape in your desk, while I was clearing your things out of your apartment. I couldn't..."

  
She took a shaky breath, trying to calm herself.

  
"I didn't watch it more than once before I put it with everything else. All the memories that were too painful, all the once I couldn't leave to Monica for obvious reasons..."

  
Carol held Maria close as Maria tried to calm her tears.

  
"I'm sorry..." Carol apologized again.

  
"Don't. It doesn't matter anymore now. We've been together for over half of our lives, and that's all I want to remember."

  
Maria smiled through the tears.

  
"You should apologize for never sending me that tape, though."

  
Carol groaned.

  
"I remembered why I never did! It's so embarrassing!"

  
Maria giggled and placed a kiss on Carol's cheek.

  
"It's not, it's adorable! Twenty-something Carol was such a sap."

  
Carol shook her head.

  
"I've always been a sap, I just don't want people to know."

  
Carol smiled at Maria.

  
"Except you."

  
"Well, now the entire universe knows that you're a sap."

  
She shook her head.

  
"They don't really. Only you know how much of a sentimental sap I am. It's our secret."

  
Carol kissed Maria's lips as if sealing the secret between them.

  
"I love you."

  
"I love you too."


End file.
